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Let’s laugh together

Marilia Duque E SPereira26 December 2018

Author: Marilia Duque

Marilia (left) with her friend

One year of fieldwork and I must say, I am here laughing alone whilst I remember all the good times I had with my informants. At first I could have argued that most of them were fighting against the stigmas of ageing. On one hand, it means that they were trying their best to hide their physical limitations in order to keep their independence and their autonomy. On the other hand, it also means they were trying to adapt to the model of successful ageing, the image of respectful old people who are healthy, productive and socially engaged. Yes, they are always alert and fighting for their space and that resistance can result in a kind of self-surveillance, with a zero-tolerance with those who try to make fun of old people.
But wait until you are accepted by the group, wait until they feel comfortable with your presence and you will be surprised. They laugh at old people all the time. They recognize their frailties and they make fun of them. I was at an event with old people last week, and an old lady was stealing the scene, dancing with her very long hair, when one jealous old woman whispered to me “her geriatric diaper will fall”. After a while, when the lunch was served and a long queue of old people had formed, one of them said laughing, “where is the senior row? I have priority”. They also make jokes of issues like impotence, lack of memory, deafness, insomnia and their difficulties with technology. They address with humour the amount of time they spend in hospitals, all they have to do to pay their health insurance, how young people think they are stupid and how they feel tired after they have to pretend they were not “that old”.
We shared incredible moments together when they were not old people anymore. They were just human beings facing some difficulties in life and getting old day after day, just like me and anyone else.