By Emma-Louise Nicholls, on 29 May 2011
My name is V.58 Pristiophoridae. You can call me V.58, like Johnny 5. You know- from Short Circuit? Anyway, I’m a sawshark. Not a sawfish, no no, a sawshark. My head is separate from my pectoral fins and I have a moustache half way down my snout. That’s how you can tell. I can’t put a photo up here of my friends in the wild because they are so rare and I can’t afford to pay royalties to the people who have any. If you do an internet search, 98% of what you’ll be looking at will be sawfish.
I live at the Grant Museum of Zoology in London. I like my home, it’s not that I don’t, but you see, I don’t have anyone to love me. I am only a baby, I’m just an embryo actually, and I’m an orphan. I can’t remember my mummy or daddy, but I need one now. I’m lonely. I have some friends, a few sharks, a few boney fish, but no family. Many of my friends have a foster parent, but not me. I don’t understand why, because I am really, very cute. I feel so alone.
I know there are lots of species of shark but I am special, really, I am. I am really, REALLY rare in the wild. My friends and family were all killed for our uber amazingly cool noses which have ‘teeth’ all along each side. They’re not really teeth, they’re special scales. I’m even rare at the Grant Museum, I am the only sawshark they have. You see how special I am? And yet no-one will love me. Sob.
It only costs £15 to adopt me, for a whole year. That’s about two pints of beer in London isn’t it? You get a few other things too for your money, not just me. As if I wasn’t enough? Just £15 to make me feel loved and wanted and to give me what I dream of… a small blue card with a name on it to display proudly in front of my tank. The name of someone who loves me. Will anybody love me? Pleeeaaaase? Please love me?
Waiting in hope…