CPS Christmas Quiz

-Article by Stephen Leach

A brief report of what the CPS Christmas quiz is all about…

• Amusing ‘chemistry pun’ team name:

My personal favourites included: “NM’ard”, “Its all about the NaOH”, “rapid backside attack”, “what the heck”. Also, two teams attempted to enter with the name “all the best team names Argon”, which is a shame and confusingly ironic. Only one got through. Remember, there is no paint by numbers way of getting a good team name.

• Putting together a crack squad of quizzers;

Whom are knowledgable, endurable and enduring. Nine rounds of quiz based excitement surrounded by red wine, cocktail sausages, Stilton and power geeks from all over the department; is not for the faint hearted. Not all the questions are about chemistry, most aren’t, the quiz rewards broad intellects, and punishes foolishness at every opportunity. Be ready to revel in the triumph but also to sustain the derision.

• Turning up with a empty stomach and utilising the copious amounts of free food and drink laid on.

Even more importantly; making sure it stays in your stomach for the duration of the evening and doesn’t make a hasty unwelcome reappearance. Make use of the stodgy mince pies, that’s how Santa himself stays sober during business hours.

• Bring a healthy sense of competition.

Like a Hogarthian backstreet, it’s a fine forum for mudslinging and letting your colleagues know what you really think of them. There is no quicker way to make new friends than by the collective ridicule of some third party. Being the writers of the quiz, the CPS committee would dutifully take the role of the aforementioned third party. If you don’t know the answer, it’s a good opportunity to scrawl defamation over the answer sheet, or as I witnessed in some cases, just take a bite out of it. All was very amicable. Prizes this year included bowling, fine ales and a ‘mystery box’ [it had something inside it] but the real prize is the trophy.

• Savouring the victory of a correctly answered question.

Do you accumulate random information like a chintzy figurine gathering dust? This is your opportunity. Imagine the glory when you prove to your team mates that, Yes, you know the capital of Australia, you know how much an iphone6 weighs, you know who fell off a roof in The Archers, right? Glory like that is seldom replicated elsewhere. Which is why the CPS quiz junkies keep on coming back every year.

 

19 teams took part, with over 100 competitors, the winning team was: “Argon and messed my pants [in a Deep-South American accent]” who put in a sturdy performance. It was hosted by Matthew Blunt, Hugo Bronstein and Dave Rowley. Highlights included the “what’s that song, who covered it ?” round. The “if x and y had a baby, this is what they would look like, who are x and y ?” round.

In case I haven’t made it clear, it was pretty enjoyable for everyone. Words can’t do it justice, the Nyholm Room didn’t know what hit it. Merry Christmas.